On being poor (and continuing with MCC)

A good friend once said: all I want is to be able to afford a bagel and coffee once a month.

I wish I could say that I share that sentiment. But really, I'm not so good at being poor. It's not a particularly enjoyable state to live in. I tend to feel grumpy when friends drive to restaurants to indulge in wonderful middle eastern food, and I sit at home on a Friday night eating rice & beans for the 18th time that week because I have neither money to pay for a restaurant nor transportation to get there. In my previous, salaried life, I dealt with this situation as any good American would: I whipped out my credit card and ordered-in sushi while updating my resume to find a better-paying job.

But, for better or for worse, I have chosen to eliminate such options for a time. A couple of weeks ago, I sent MCC an email that said something along the lines of, "I'm feeling a bit apprehensive...but I'll stay with MCC Haiti for an additional year."

Shortly after, I started having dreams of hoping into Calvin (my royal blue Honda Civic) and dashing off to Dave & Busters (an adult Chuck-E-Cheese, complete with skeeball). That dream doesn't even make sense. I hate Dave & Busters. (My only time there, I was forced to give a speech and play pool with my company's entirely male sales department.) I'm pretty sure, though, that the dreams are my subconscious way of admitting that I'm not terribly keen on the idea of remaining poor for another year.

I can't entirely explain why I made this decision. In the day to day, Haiti isn't a particularly fun country to live in. But it didn't feel like the right time to say that I'm leaving.

So, for the next year I will continue the process of learning to give up a salary, learning to give up luxuries, learning to give up options.

-L